It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
