Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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