He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We got so high we made milksteak
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
