btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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