I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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