Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
