The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
