He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
