so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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