i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
