Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
