I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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