Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
im holly from the hills drunk
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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