there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
‪He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life‬
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
