I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
