If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize