Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
