Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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