His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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