you mean i was at the winter classic?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
