suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
