You don't have asthma, your pregnant
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
