You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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