she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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