Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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