I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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