Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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