What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
