Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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