I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize
