That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Randomize
