billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
