it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
