you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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