my being single is dangerous.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
