Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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