How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
