i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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