Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
