I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
