I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
