Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
