Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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