Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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