There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
my shit smells like andre
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
