u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
