Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I didn't notice because vodka
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
