wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize