nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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