id be glad to
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
