He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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