I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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