I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
