turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The power of my boobs compel you
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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