Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
