are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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