Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
