Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
