it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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