he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize