I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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