thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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