We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
