please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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