And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
