Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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